I don't know that many people will object to the value of giving thanks, so on the surface, I am just preaching to the choir here. All the blessings we get in life, such as family, friends, health, food, shelter, etc., are easy to be grateful. Expressing gratitude is also associated with a variety of benefits, including better physical and mental health, improved relationships and productivity.

I recently thanked Google for the search and returned 109,000,000 results, and I found a disturbing trend. Based on the top link back, it shows that many people are using gratitude to achieve selfish goals. The most important link back on the first page of my search is: "You don't know the 31 benefits of gratitude", "Grateful can make Millennials more successful?" and "Thank you for 7 amazing Health benefits."

According to my experience, the only true gratitude practice is to enrich others. In fact, in my regular Thanksgiving practice, I specifically ask the recipient not to admit it, but if they feel forced to respond, please send a similar thank you message to someone in their life, besides that!

I believe that expressing gratitude for selfish reasons will be as counterproductive as the general selfishness and greed I see will usually come back to bite. It's not always easy to do, but in the long run, helping others will fill you faster than just taking care of yourself.

In my glimpse, our society has become obsessed with the results and harmful to it. I found that the demand for results makes these results less likely to happen. That's why my focus is primarily on processes and goals. Unfortunately, I don't have time to go into the process and purpose [but will be in future blog posts] because I want to solve another problem of how people practice thanks.

Another problem I am grateful to people is that they often pay attention to easy things. If you have read my blog before, you may see me saying something like this: ' Life is 10% what happened, 90% how you reacted to it' [Although I believe now It is more like 3% and 97%]. I personally found that once I learned to accept the bad things that happened to me and thank them, it would speed up my growth exponentially.

When I was young, I often cursed the fact that life was unfair and I often felt sorry for myself. I think this important reason for this feeling is because my mother died two days before my fourth birthday. Whatever the reason, everyone regrets that it makes the situation worse.

I actually realized that losing a mother at a young age has a positive side. It has made me a more sensitive and understanding person, and these hits still serve me until today. I am even grateful to all those who bully me or use me when I fail, because I won't get the valuable skills or knowledge I have, otherwise. These experiences forced me to learn how to solve problems at a young age and think at my feet. All of these exercises and skills are critical to my work today.

In addition, after my mother died, I also suffered deep depression and anxiety, but playing those battles made me better. Although it took longer than I thought, I like people today.

Having said all of this, if I can choose, I will give up all these benefits in a second and let my mother come back for a few days. But I can't choose, so I finally learned to play cards in a forward-looking way.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking about what might happen or what might happen. In my case, if my mother lives. However, these illusions are full of inaccuracies because they envisioned my current idealized version, and the reality is that I might end up being a completely different person. I know that even a spoiled mother has very little compassion.

If you want to speed up your growth, learn to thank you for what you missed or wrong, and the right things. When you choose to express yourself, do other things to enrich others and don't get any benefit for yourself.

The importance of gratitude was originally published on Spring